Eight Everlasting Gifts To Reduce Holiday Stress During The Pandemic

It is that time of year again. Being a psychiatrist, I see how holidays can be very challenging for many of my patients and even for the general population, especially when they have come from either toxic or abusive childhoods. Their emotions can stir up pretty fast, thus leading to either decompensation of an already existing mental illness in my patients or enormous stress in the general public. 

I come from the Muslim faith, and we celebrated our big holiday, Eid, in May, when the pandemic was at its peak. Grief and anxiety from COVID were at a level which I have never seen in my life before, even though I come from the war-ridden area of Kashmir.

Eid, like any other holiday, can become pretty stressful, even though it’s meant to be a relaxing and fun time for everyone. This past one felt even more stressful than usual. So I decided to do something different. Instead of focusing on the routines and regimens of this day, we chose to pay attention to the real purpose, traditions, and values attached to this day.  After implementing some straightforward strategies and being mindful of our blessings, my children commented that this was the most enjoyable Eid for them. I wanted to share those ideas, which I’ll call “Gifts”, with you all so that your holiday season can be as memorable as ours was.

 1: The Gift of Awareness

Let’s try to be aware of the fact that we are in a very unusual time. We are all going through similar turbulent emotions. We are all struggling in some or another way.  We are all very uncertain of the present situation and the future, which brings anxiety. We must try to remember and reassure ourselves that this too shall pass, like every other stressful time.

2. The Gift of Purpose

Let’s reflect on why we celebrate what we celebrate! The real purpose of our holidays, the real spirit behind these celebrations. Why we decorate homes with lights, why we give gifts, why we gather and eat together, why we put up Menorahs or Christmas trees. Always keep the purpose of the holidays at the forefront of your mind!

3: The Gift of Being in the Present Moment

Let’s give our full attention to whatever activity we’re doing at a given moment. Whether it be wrapping presents, making lists for gifts or invites or the foods we’ll be preparing, or spending quality time with our closest loved ones. Let’s remind ourselves that these are very unusual times, and what we’re feeling is more than just the baseline stress of the holidays. Let’s take breaks from whatever we’re doing to center ourselves, be it taking a walk, doing a prayer, talking to a  friend, or just doing nothing.

4: The Gift of Gratitude

Let’s be thankful for our daily blessings. Be grateful for the ability to buy presents, for being able to prepare delicious, simple, or elaborate meals. Let’s be grateful for the ability to stay warm this holiday season. And for those of us who are healthy and are surviving COVID, there is even more of a reason to feel grateful- for life!

5: The Gift of Empathy

Let’s try our best to feel the pain of those directly or indirectly affected by COVID. For the thousands of lives lost. Thousands of people are still grieving or have not even begun the process yet. Let’s put ourselves in the shoes of our fellow human beings who have lost their jobs or homes, and of whose families were separated at borders or elsewhere. Let us wish the same privileges we have in this country for the billions of those people who still live in poverty, survive in war-stricken areas or famine-affected nations, or who struggle to put food on their table.

6: The Gift of Simplicity

Let’s practice the long-lost value of simplicity by using less instead of more. Let’s try to keep our gifts simple yet sincere! Limit our dinner menus to just a few foods that everyone enjoys, instead of a complicated elaborate feast. Let’s consider wearing something that we already own instead of buying a new outfit. Let’s decorate our homes modestly, and enjoy the process.

7: The Gift of Imagination

Let’s revive the power of imagination that we used to have when we were little children. Imagine the North Pole, Santa Claus bringing us gifts, riding on his reindeers, and sliding down our chimneys. Let’s imagine the future, where we can go back to the movies, to restaurants, to nice gatherings, block parties, graduations, and birthdays once this pandemic is over. Hopefully soon, we all can come out to greet each other and hug each other, without the need to stay 6 feet apart!

8: The Gift of Self-Love

Let’s forgive ourselves more often, and be as kind to ourselves as we are to others. Let’s be OK with not being OK for some time, and celebrate both our shortcomings and our strengths.

Hopefully, with these simple yet effective strategies, we all can celebrate the true essence of holidays in the pandemic. They can give us a chance to remember this particular holiday season forever. We will tell our children and our grandchildren all sorts of stories of how things were when COVID hit us. 

I hope you all can stay safe, peaceful, and optimistic. Have a wonderful holiday and a happy new year!